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e046 – Choose What Matters with Chris Swail

Chris Swail is a certified Life Coach and Health Coach and NLP Practitioner. She helps women who feel overwhelmed and stuck, feel confident and capable so they can live happier, less stressed lives. Chris is a mom to 3 young kids and understands the struggle and demands of motherhood and how it can feel hard to manage one’s time and own needs. She found coaching and never looked back! 

In this episode:

Making decisions based on what is best for your own family and not based on other’s expectations.
Be a super mom in your own capacity and in your own way.
We get to choose how we show up. We are in control of our thoughts and feelings.
Habits are useful because they help our brains to use less brain power but… of course, we can have both good habits and bad habits.
Identity shifts, such as the transition to motherhood or a change in career, can be difficult and make us feel stuck.
Choose what matters and don’t be afraid to say no to the rest. 

Connect with Chris:

Instagram: @thisisalittlebitbetter https://www.instagram.com/thisisalittlebitbetter/
Facebook: @thisisalittlebitbetter https://www.facebook.com/thisisalittlebitbetter
Website: https://www.alittlebitbetter.ca/
Podcast: A Little Bit Better https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/a-little-bit-better/id1524520825

Connect with Tiana and The Part-Time Jungle:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parttimejungle/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/parttimejungle/
Website: https://theparttimejungle.com

LETTING GO OF THE “SHOULDS”
“You can be a super mom in your own capacity and in your own way.” This will look different depending on the person. It can be hard to let go of the expectations that can be ingrained in us – whether it’s from our upbringing, society, a combination of both, or other places. We can hold ourselves to this really high standard and then, there can be a lot of negative self-talk or self-shaming if you feel like you’re not measuring up. 

We can feel like we should be the mom who always volunteers at the school, bakes the best cakes for birthday parties, and who puts her kids in all the sports. It can feel like there is a lot of judgement in motherhood sometimes. Being able to dial down on what really matters to you as a mother can be a big challenge to overcome. 

WE ARE IN CONTROL
We are in control of our thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we can feel really out of control with our emotions. For example, “so-and-so” did this to me and made me feel this way. The reality is that we get to choose how we show up, including how we feel. It can be an internal battle to try and change our thinking if it’s negative about a person or a situation. But – we can do it. Although it isn’t easy, that ownership piece can help us to stop feeling like we are out of control. 

CHOOSE WHAT MATTERS
It’s your life. Live within your values and your purpose. Don’t worry about what everybody else says. Don’t worry if it looks messy. Life is messy and that’s part of what makes it beautiful. That’s part of how we grow. We learn through our experiences even when (and especially when) we make mistakes. Choose what matters to you and to your family. Stick with that. Own it. And – don’t be afraid to say no. 

BEG, BORROW, & STEAL FROM CHRIS

Go-to meal on a busy night: 

Breakfast for dinner OR
“The Plowman” which involves pulling out whatever’s in the fridge and putting it on a cutting board/charcuterie board (e.g. vegetables, hard boiled eggs, deli meats)

Favourite family games: Risk and Pictionary
Favourite family activity: Bike rides
Favourite book: Becoming by Michelle Obama

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